Gravity.

"Set me free. Leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am, and I stand so tall. I'm just the way I'm supposed to be...
You're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go,
but the one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down."

Can I seriously never get rid of my past? Wasn't it enough that he wrote an awful (in the sense of what it's about...not its musicality) song about me and played it for not only my ward, but the entire school AND a crowd at the basketball game? Can't him being married to the girl (who I actually quite like...she's beautiful and nice. I can see why he married her.) that he was merely "taking a break" from while dating me let him out of my world and my thoughts? Apparently not. Yep, you guessed it...Dowse is not only in my Biology class, but my Biology lab as well. I had already accepted the fact that I'd just have to see him every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for an hour...but that was in a room of over 150 students. It wouldn't be hard to avoid him there. The lab is much smaller and more social, I guess you could say. With only about 15 people walking around and working together in a room for two hours, it's suddenly a lot harder to stay out of his way. Gotta give the boy props though...when he obviously can't pretend he didn't see me or literally run into me, he acts like we've been nothing but friends for a whole year. No one just looking on would be able to guess everything we went through just a few months ago. Of course, whenever possible, he does like to pretend I don't exist. Which is completely fine by me. The less I have to communicate with him, the better. I don't like feeling so angry and bitter...but something about public humiliation just brings that out in me I suppose. Well, I guess I should be fair. This class isn't all THAT bad. I love Biology, so that's gonna help my enjoyment. And there's also a pretty rad kid named Tyler Hack that's in there too. He was in the 5th ward with me last year, but I don't think I ever actually talked to him. Pretty sure that will change though.

So work was ok...but I just have a quick question. Is today "Ex-Boyfriends that left Ariel with any emotional damage must somehow remind her that they still exist" Day? Because if it is...someone forgot to tell me. A little bit of warning would have been nice. Oops. I bet there's some wonderment as to what I'm talking about right now. Answer: Travis Jones. Yep, the same Travis Jones that I dated for all of...oh, 3 weeks, yet STUPIDLY became relatively attached to prior to being dumped out of the blue for reasons supposedly having nothing to do with me. He just texted me while I was working ToGo "Hey girl! What have you been up to? How was your first week of school?" Um...seriously? You don't talk to me for MONTHS and now you want to know how school is going? Well, the classes I'm taking that I signed up for WITH YOU are pretty ok I guess. I wouldn't have taken them at all if I thought I'd have to be doing so by myself. So thanks there. Ok, obviously I didn't say that to him, but I really wanted to. The sad thing is...I still kinda dig him. After everything that happened, I still have this small part of me that is holding out hope that maybe he'll have to move back to Cedar because Cali is just not what he expected and then he'll look me up. Yeah, I know it's stupid, but hey...I'm a girl. My brain likes to run in Chick Flick mode frequently. Anyway, we're currently still talking and it's pretty friendly. I'm actually really surprised that the conversation has lasted this long though. I guess he's just really bored on his drive home.

Dream: Mmmm...to marry a guy that loves me the way I am and doesn't expect me to change my personality to fit HIS needs.
Care: Well, despite how much craziness I've had to deal with because of these boys, I still miss them and strangely still care about their well-being. I wish I was better friends with both of them...like I used to be, but minus the romantic stuff.
Risk: I'd have to say that actually responding to Trav was a risk. Mostly because I'd really prefer to leave that case closed. Yep. Yep I would.
Expect: Ha ha...I'm actually kinda expecting that Dowse's presence in my Bio lab will keep me focused on what I'm doing. Because heaven knows I don't want to be caught zoning out in his general direction. How ridiculously awkward.

Popular.

"I'm a party star. I'm popular! I've got my own car. I'm popular!"

Woot woot! Club fair! What a blasty. I had double table duty all night though. That was interesting mostly because the fair was on the track at the football field and I had to go between the Eluzion colorguard table at the East end of the stadium and the Ballroom table at the west end. But it worked out pretty well! I'd stay at the guard table for like 15 min and spin rifle and sabre and try to impress people with meh skills and things. And it worked a little bit because we got 3 people to sign up! PARTY! I'm so stoked to do a winter show!!! I don't know if we'll be up to par for it this year, but for sure next year! I have so many show ideas running through my brain right now it's ridiculous. Anyway, the BDC table was pretty fun too just because all my other ballroom buddies were over there being crazy and fun and things of that nature. You know, because that's how we roll. Anyway, I hung out with Chels and Alycia for a while, frequently hitting up the North end of the stadium for random refreshments...although all I actually wanted was water. I got to see so many of my friends walking around though, which I loved because I haven't seen too many of them since I've moved back. Which is both bogus and sad. But it was really fun to get to spin for them because no one here really knows what colorguard is and they had no clue I could do it. Ok, and I kind of was enjoying showing off. What? It's hard not to when Jen-Jen and Bri-Bri drilled awesomeness into my brain for my entire Senior year! Oh goodness...I seriously miss them! Hmmm...well, I think I'm off to go hang out. Apparently my buddy busser bud Kyle from work wants to do some chillaxin' at mi casa. Man, I have bazillions of friends in Cedar it seems like!

Dream: That Eluzion will grow and grow like the BDC did...and then I will have started something AMAZING here at SUU!
Care: Wow, I'm feeling so greatful to JennyLynn and Brianna. I've never felt so strong and beautiful as I did when they were teaching me. Thank you both so much for giving me confidence and strength! I never knew how much I would need it later in my life. Love you girls!
Risk: Showing off my skills in public...after having zero practice on any of my equipment for...oh, I dunno...6 months...
Expect: To get some more girls signed up for Eluzion so we can have a relatively larger show (hopefully for this winter!)

You Really Got Me Now....

"You got me so I don't know what I'm doing now!!"

Alright...my expectations were met. Pretty sure that's safe to say. I'm super tired and really need to get to bed, but I just seriously need to document this. Ha ha. The Reader's Digest Version is that Bryce's buddies are pretty awesome. I met a lot of them, but the only ones I actually talked to for a while were Tanner, Keith, and Charles. I ended up talking to Charles for most of the night though. He's pretty good looking and really sweet. And he already makes fun of me like we've been friends for weeks rather than hours. Which is one of my favorite things that a person I just met could do. Definetly yes. Anyway...everyone was basically ready to go home after a couple games of pool and basketball, but I was thinking that a movie sounded bueno, and Charles agreed. Pretty much everyone said they were too tired to watch a movie so it was just me and Chuck Norris watching Ocean's Eleven on my awesome big screen. And afterwards...well, ok, I'm so ridiculous. I now owe all my roomies Daquiris/Pina Coladas. Indeed. I suck at life.

Dream: OOPS! This one is totally going in the vault. Yep.
Care: Apparently I didn't care too much...wow. Wow wow wow.
Risk: I think this one is pretty obvious.
Expect: To get majorly teased with random comments from the roomies. It'll happen. Trust me.

GIRLS!

"And I can always make them smile from White Castle to the Nile!"


So…school was basically the same as it was on Monday…nothing super special to report about it. But when everyone got home today, we all headed out to Chili’s to get some virgin Strawberry Daquiris and Pina Coladas due to our intense kissing skills from last night. Oh, I guess that’s kinda confusing, eh? Well, one of the rules of our awesome house here on 600 West is that when any roommate kisses a NEW boy for the FIRST time, that roommate owes the other roommates a virgin Daquiri or Colada. Since all of us totally made out with random people, we all just bought our own. Oh, and since Shelynne didn’t streak with us and also didn’t make out with random people, we decided that she had to buy her own anyway as initiation to our house. Yep. Totally fair. :) Anyway, while at Chili’s, we got to sit next to Charlie Busch and Kristen Hunter!! Man I miss those kids! Spencer was our server too…I swear I ALWAYS end up in his section whenever I eat there with my friends. Without fail. It’s kinda weird but I’m completely ok with that. So after we parted from my place of business, we all crammed into lil baby Jorge, and I just prayed that no cops saw us because I SERIOUSLY can’t get pulled over again. Not even kidding. So I dropped Megan off at Jesse Maher’s house for his crazy superhero birthday party (HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY MR. JESSE MAHER!!!) that I totally intended on going to…but I had to drop off Cindy at home so she could do her homework and then I was supposed to take the rest of my roomies to the comedian, Jeff Dye, in the ballroom. Yeah, I just can’t resist comedy when it all comes down to it. So I went in with them. He was actually super funny! And super ridiculously good looking. Goodness. So after his awesomeness came to an end, Shelynne and I took a trip to the library to check email and things while Becks, Emily, and Erin walked on home. Shelynne then received a phone call from her fionce of a fionce saying that he and his buddies were at our house already. So…oops! Totally walked in not knowing who was on the other side of the kitchen! Hence, this is where I leave until after I hang with these few (and one of them is rather fine) fellows.

Dream: To one day be as awesome at stand-up comedy as Jeff Dye. I dig making people laugh.
Care: Wow...I love my friends. I would do anything to keep them happy and smiling because I know they'd do the same for me.
Risk: Oops...wearing relatively short shorts in public! Ha ha.
Expect: Tonight should be interesting...

Kiss?

“I just want a little extra time in your…..kiss!”

"OH MY GOSH! I can’t believe we all just did that!"
And now I’m gonna Tarentino that…takin’ it back, takin’ it back. Meet Your Religious Leader was on the MP Quad today…which was awesome because I got to meet my Bishop, see my old Bishop, and get free food while hanging out with all my old ballroom buddies!! Man it’s great to see them! Funny story…Bishop Reed totally tried to hook me up with this kid (I think his name is Skyler…but his name tag said Angela, so that’s honestly the only name I can legitly remember for him right now) that he knows pretty well. He seemed cute enough but holy did I blush when Bishop suggested that right in front of the both of us! Ha ha…gotta love those awkward moments. There was supposed to be a dance in the parking lot after the Religious Leader dealy (yes, I was hoping to see Randall there), but Erin, Becks, and I were a bit too tired to actually dance and we didn’t see anyone out on the floor that we knew. And yes, we could see everyone. There were only like 30 people there. Hence, we walked home…which is when the fun started! I called Jace to see if he wanted to come over and he told me he’d be over after he and his buds hit the dance. I advised him to just skip it because it was pretty dead when I left, but he insisted on checking it out first. While I waited for him to call me back, I got to sit and listen to Shelynne and Bryce’s cute falling in love with each other story! Goodness, I love it! But holy crazy…the things we girls deal with for boys we like! We’re nuts! Seriously. Oh, so anyway…shortly after Jace called, he arrived at my casa, where we brainstormed things to do. And what did we come up with? Spin the Bottle of course. Why? Because it’s on Cindy’s Bucket List! Hence, Jace called some of his friends to come over and join us, and Becka let me call her friend Alan over too. He totally thought I was kidding when I said we were gonna play Spin the Bottle…but I was completely serious. We all sat in a circle (boy, girl, boy, girl), and Shelynne served as judge, jury, and executioner since she’s very much on the taken side of the relationship spectrum. So basically our rules were that 1. Players of the same gender could not kiss each other…because seriously, ick. I love my roomies, but not THAT much. 2. If anyone spun and landed on Shelynne, she had the authority to just say whatever name she wanted, and it was from then on as though you spun that person. 3. Every time a specific couple rolled each other, their kisses had to become more “serious”. For example, the first time I rolled Boy A, I would have to kiss him on the forehead. The second time, I would have to kiss him on the cheek. Perhaps the third time, Boy A spun me, we would then have to kiss on the lips. Next would be kissing with tongue for 5 seconds. After that, the same thing for 10 seconds. And what came after that? Breaking in the make-out couch in the garage, of course. Wow…what a game! Ha ha. The counting would vary between SUPER SLOW to relatively quick seconds. Alan got a kick out of counting to about 7 and then starting back at 3, just to mess with everyone. What was interesting was that Jace stated at the beginning of the game that “everyone should place any personal feelings aside and not get offended or anything because it’s JUST A GAME.” Even with that stated, I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be for me to watch Jace kiss my roommates. Wow. I didn’t think I really cared that much about it. Apparently I do…seeing as how I was dealing with some intense jealousy. But what SUPER confused me was when he just grabbed me and kissed me when the game was over. I know how I feel about him…but I have no clue what he’s thinking about me. Interesting…
Ha ha! I just got a text from him…apparently Becka and I were the overall favorites to kiss. Next was Megan and Cindy, followed by Emily and Erin. Well, that’s flattering…ha ha. "OH MY GOSH! I can’t believe we just did that!" This house is out of control! But in the most awesome way possible. :)

Dream: That maybe one of these days I’ll finally choose a guy to date that WON’T be just using me. Man, that would be nice.
Care: About Jace. Way more than I imagined. Awkward...
Risk: Oops…totally swapped spit with a roomful of people. Most of which I just met.
Expect: To figure out what in the world is going on with my brain. Wow. Crazy.

Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This!

“Who am I to disagree? Everybody’s looking for something.”

Heck yes for Modern Dance! I’m going to love waking up to that class every Tuesday and Thursday at 10 AM! My professor is from Hong Kong I think and he totally treats dance like a religion, which is kinda weird but super cool at the same time. We do quite a few yoga moves, and the main objective for him is to teach us how to be in tune with our bodies and to figure out how to use our own tools as best we can, not to all look exactly alike. It’s so relaxing having so much freedom with my movement and to be able to just clear my mind and dance. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt that at peace before…maybe this will be an awesome stress reliever and escape! And I’m going to give myself some kudos for allowing an hour of free time between dance and the rest of my classes today, because that was quite the workout…and showering felt super good! It totally refreshed me for my Parables of Jesus class in the Institute at Noon. Man, that class is going to rock! I’m so excited to try and apply the teachings of Jesus in the olden days to my life today. And I’m hoping that having Institute almost every day will help me keep up with my testimony building. Not going to lie…my testimony was definetly tried and tested this summer. Some days its all I have to hold on to and other days it’s all I can do to hold on to it. We’ll see how this works out. Spanish was at 1 PM again today…although we switched rooms so we could have a projector and a sound system. All we’re doing this week is review…but that’s probably a bueno idea since I kinda forgot some of the conjugations and such! Now…my Laws of Evidence class…that’s gonna be intense. There’s a lot of reading that has to be done before you come to class and apparently I’m going to be quizzed on it frequently. But the part that freaks me out a bit is the actual hour and a half of class. It’s completely discussion-oriented. No lecture. Just thinking on your feet and defending your thought processes and beliefs. Wow, I really hope I know what I’m talking about…otherwise I’m going to sound like a total idiot!

Wow…can I just say how proud I am of myself right now? I got 4 of my textbooks and a couple of SUU Merch items for $165!!! That’s SOOO cheap compared to normal! Wow. I rock. Hands down. The only thing that sucks is that my Bio Lecture Outline and lab book aren’t in yet. I probably won’t get those till next week. Gayness right there.

Dream: I know it’s lame, but yet again…that I’ll run into Randall. I can’t help but hope that he digs me…but I have no clue if I’ll ever even find out.
Care: Wow…Laws of Evidence today really gave me a deeper rooting in respect. It’s hard for people to do their jobs and make everyone happy while not looking like a monster all at once. I’m gonna think twice before I ever judge a Defense Attorney.
Risk: I really just let go and moved from my heart instead of my head in dance this morning. I was totally vulnerable, which I usually hate, but today I was ok with it.
Expect: That my Biology stuff will get here fast enough for me to actually not be super far behind once they arrive.

We Used To Be Friends...

“A long time ago, we used to be friends. Just remember me when you’re good to go.”

Ouch. Whoever thought that staying up until 3:30 in the morning and then attempting to get up 5 hours later was a good idea is seriously retarded. Oh wait…that would be me. Whoops! Oh well…I woke up to my Social Dance class at 10 AM, courtesy of Mark Baker. It was awesome because he started calling roll and when he got to my name at the very end of the list he just looked up and said “What are you doing here?” “Uh…I’m in this class…” “Why?” “Why not?” “Are you in the other technique class?” “Yep.”(Oops…totally just lied there…but I didn’t want to get in trouble in front of everyone!) “Ok…are you planning on dancing as a boy or a girl?” “Uhm…whichever one you need me to dance?” “Good.” Yep…Mark is totally going to make me dance as a boy. I guess I’ll just be the dang best lookin’ guy this class has ever seen! Ha ha. Anyway…we worked on a Salsa warm-up routine, which Mark asked me to stand in front with him and Jesse so everyone could watch me in case they forgot what they were doing. I felt pretty dang important! Next was my Atonement, Repentance, and Forgiveness class in the Institute building at 11 AM. I’m so glad that Adam Riback is in there with me! I think it’ll be good to have a friend that won’t let me sleep and also knows Spanish so I’ll remain awake in there! Course, that may not be a problem seeing as how a super bueno-looking boy named Austin is in there too. Goodness my luck is ROCKIN’ today! Ok, well it was up until Bio at Noon. Well…12:01. Turns out Chesha had to retake this course cuz she bombed it last year so it’s awesome that I have a friend in this class too! The non-lucky part is that Clinton Dowse is also in this class. Granted, it’s a class of about 180 students, so it’s relatively likely that I’ll never have to talk to him or even really be able to notice him after he sits down. But still…totally threw off my “awesome day” groove I had going. Well, Spanish was next at 1 PM…clear across campus. I barely made it on time. But I think this class will be way good for me because it’s slightly challenging, but not to the point where I feel like I’m going to fail every day of my life. Plus Gustafson is teaching it, so I’m already way familiar with his habits and teaching styles.

Ok, so my luck was alright…but Becka’s was WAY better! She has her Nutrition class with Randall! I’m so ridiculously jealous of her right now. I’d give anything to have an excuse to talk to him. Ok, at least to sit in the general vicinity of him. Man…I’m crushing on him bad! This is awful! There’s no way he’s ever going to notice me in a romantic way. My luck isn’t anywhere near that ballpark. Oh well…that’s life I guess.

Dream: That I’ll magically run into Randall and actually get over my ridiculous shy behavior and actually TALK to him!
Care: I totally stepped it up at work and filled in for Kylie, who didn’t show up today. I think Brenda really appreciated the help.
Risk: I signed up to be considered for a leadership position in my Institute class…hello, responsibility. Haven’t dealt with you in a church setting for a while…
Expect: To not run into Dowse more than absolutely necessary! UGH!

Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year?

“Are we growing up, or just going down? It’s just a matter of time before we’re all found out.”

Today is officially the first day of my Sophomore year in college and also the first day that ALL my roomies were all in the house at the same time!! How fantastic. Our house is completely ROCKIN this year because all of us are so cool and our house is completely amazing! We have a pool table, a ping pong table, a weights center, and a make-out couch in our garage. That alone is awesome enough, but we also have a basketball hoop in our huge backyard, a big screen TV in our family room, and a GHETTO-WAVE for a microwave. We are amazing. That’s all. So downstairs we have Emily, Shelynn, Me and Cindy, and Erin while upstairs we have Becka and Megan. We already have a bunch of funny roommate quotes and memories just from moving in from the past couple weeks, but today is the day for us! We all decided that we needed to do an “initiation” for living in our house. Something that we all had to do to kinda get us to bond and have something crazy that we all did together on our very first night as a college family!

So what was our initiation act, you ask? Streaking of course! You know…the naked kind. Yep. Not even kidding right now. We all stripped down, grabbed our towels, donned our tennis shoes, and headed right on out the front door. It was perfect because our street is actually a circle so no real traffic goes down. Especially at midnight. So, we lined up in the crosswalk at the top of our circle and ran down the middle of the road, waving our towels above and behind us as we booked it. Yep. Funny right? Well, keep reading. It gets funnier. And also slightly more inappropriate. But hey, we’re only young once, right? Right. So…as we stood on our driveway, we kept having random urges to just flash the street. And of course, we did so. Then Cindy and I saw some car lights coming toward our street so we just stood there, staring at the road, and as this truck passed us…you guessed it! We totally flashed it. The funny part? Immediately after that, the truck put on its brake lights. Mind you, that it was because there is a four-way stop a mere block after our street, but still. We were slightly terrified, so we ran inside for cover. Once we felt braver, we came back outside and decided that star tanning sounded like an excellent idea. Why? Absolutely no clue. We’re just crazy like that. Next thing you know, Becks, Me, Megan, Cindy, Erin, and Emily are all laying down on our towels, totally sans the clothing, in the crosswalk at the top of our street. Yep, right between the stop sign and the street sign. In front of an elementary school too…where kids go. For learning and stuff. Oops!

Dream: To be as confident with myself and who I am as my amazing roomies.
Care: I didn’t. :)
Risk: Streaking down the middle of my neighborhood with all my roommates!
Expect: To be in a good mood tomorrow/today!