Gravity.

"Set me free. Leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am, and I stand so tall. I'm just the way I'm supposed to be...
You're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go,
but the one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down."

Can I seriously never get rid of my past? Wasn't it enough that he wrote an awful (in the sense of what it's about...not its musicality) song about me and played it for not only my ward, but the entire school AND a crowd at the basketball game? Can't him being married to the girl (who I actually quite like...she's beautiful and nice. I can see why he married her.) that he was merely "taking a break" from while dating me let him out of my world and my thoughts? Apparently not. Yep, you guessed it...Dowse is not only in my Biology class, but my Biology lab as well. I had already accepted the fact that I'd just have to see him every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for an hour...but that was in a room of over 150 students. It wouldn't be hard to avoid him there. The lab is much smaller and more social, I guess you could say. With only about 15 people walking around and working together in a room for two hours, it's suddenly a lot harder to stay out of his way. Gotta give the boy props though...when he obviously can't pretend he didn't see me or literally run into me, he acts like we've been nothing but friends for a whole year. No one just looking on would be able to guess everything we went through just a few months ago. Of course, whenever possible, he does like to pretend I don't exist. Which is completely fine by me. The less I have to communicate with him, the better. I don't like feeling so angry and bitter...but something about public humiliation just brings that out in me I suppose. Well, I guess I should be fair. This class isn't all THAT bad. I love Biology, so that's gonna help my enjoyment. And there's also a pretty rad kid named Tyler Hack that's in there too. He was in the 5th ward with me last year, but I don't think I ever actually talked to him. Pretty sure that will change though.

So work was ok...but I just have a quick question. Is today "Ex-Boyfriends that left Ariel with any emotional damage must somehow remind her that they still exist" Day? Because if it is...someone forgot to tell me. A little bit of warning would have been nice. Oops. I bet there's some wonderment as to what I'm talking about right now. Answer: Travis Jones. Yep, the same Travis Jones that I dated for all of...oh, 3 weeks, yet STUPIDLY became relatively attached to prior to being dumped out of the blue for reasons supposedly having nothing to do with me. He just texted me while I was working ToGo "Hey girl! What have you been up to? How was your first week of school?" Um...seriously? You don't talk to me for MONTHS and now you want to know how school is going? Well, the classes I'm taking that I signed up for WITH YOU are pretty ok I guess. I wouldn't have taken them at all if I thought I'd have to be doing so by myself. So thanks there. Ok, obviously I didn't say that to him, but I really wanted to. The sad thing is...I still kinda dig him. After everything that happened, I still have this small part of me that is holding out hope that maybe he'll have to move back to Cedar because Cali is just not what he expected and then he'll look me up. Yeah, I know it's stupid, but hey...I'm a girl. My brain likes to run in Chick Flick mode frequently. Anyway, we're currently still talking and it's pretty friendly. I'm actually really surprised that the conversation has lasted this long though. I guess he's just really bored on his drive home.

Dream: Mmmm...to marry a guy that loves me the way I am and doesn't expect me to change my personality to fit HIS needs.
Care: Well, despite how much craziness I've had to deal with because of these boys, I still miss them and strangely still care about their well-being. I wish I was better friends with both of them...like I used to be, but minus the romantic stuff.
Risk: I'd have to say that actually responding to Trav was a risk. Mostly because I'd really prefer to leave that case closed. Yep. Yep I would.
Expect: Ha ha...I'm actually kinda expecting that Dowse's presence in my Bio lab will keep me focused on what I'm doing. Because heaven knows I don't want to be caught zoning out in his general direction. How ridiculously awkward.